Day 5 & 6

Be happy. Oh dear, I knew I'd struggle with this one because I'm a miserable git.

Actually though, I did ok! Happiness is a struggle for me at the moment because we are weighed down by family drama, money problems & questions about what to do with our future. It all seems a bit ominous, but we have to decide which job Luke is going to take which in turn will decide whether I go back to studying in 2013 or 2014. I've also still got a lot of medical problems happening, and do does my best friend, who I worry about every day *sigh*

BUT, I got over all this for 2 days. We didn't chat about the bad things & made sure we spent loads of time being fun & cheerful. Good GOD did we need it.

Our happy toddler was even happier, easier & we seemed to gel better as a family unit. We weren't ignoring our issues but we just didn't focus all our attention on them. I'm lucky really, we had a brilliant relationship anyway so the happiness really did come easy.

Shame the weather was awful & we got stuck in the car...

Day 3 & 4

Getting down on their level.

Well, this gave me back ache. And knee ache. And actually was solid proof that on a day-to-day basis I do not speak to Zac at his level.

Zac seemed to enjoy our few days of constant face to face contact. I managed to communicate with him a lot easier, he seemed to listen to what I was saying.

I found, however, that it wasn't just about getting down to his level, but also allowing him to come up to mine. If he came to me jabbering away and asking to be held I would stop what I was doing and pick him up. I was under the impression that I already did a lot of this, but it seems that I wasn't doing it quite enough.

Things seem really different when you're just 3ft off the ground. His play tent towered over me, the shelves were barely visible. It was fascinating, Zac is living in a completely different world I me and I hadn't really even noticed.

The photograph represents a Zac's-eye-view of our front room. Looks pretty tidy from where HE is standing :)


Tomorrow's catch up will be
Day 5 & 6
Be happy. A happy mummy = a happy baby.

I'm back!

Sorry for the lack of updates. My trusty laptop went BANG.
Have managed to download the blogger app to my iPhone so I'll be back with the parenting challenge catch ups this evening.

In our spare time, we went to the zoo with my dad. Zac had so much fun! It's great to get out & about during the rare sunny days.

X x

Day 2

Challenge #2 : Punish without anger

I thought this challenge sounded really easy for me. At 20 months Z doesn’t get punished for his actions. After all, he’s my responsibility. I believe that kiddies should be taught about consequences to their actions, and punishment is far too widely accepted. (IMO, I know I’m a crunchy mummy but it works for us!) I take the time to ensure that 98% of the time Z doesn’t get into a situation that would be deemed punishable. It’s easy to use distraction rather than let things escalate. But, there is the 2% of the time when he wees on my dining room table...

SO...I adapted today’s challenge to ensure that Z knew the consequences to all of his actions. Sometimes if he drops his banana on the floor I just sweep it up without a word, but today I have stopped him and we’ve spoken about why it’s probably a better idea to hand mummy his banana. Or even put it in the bin, which would be a small miracle!

Our first challenge arrived at lunch time. He was eating his pasta happily and when he was full he started playing around with it. So I said, “Zachary, we shouldn’t really play with our food. If you are finished you can give mummy your plate”. He knew exactly what I was saying because he said “No mummy, plate floor”. I didn’t swoop the plate out of his hands. I said “Our plate doesn’t go on the floor, it will make a big mess”. Yep, plate + floor = bang + mess. It really was VERY annoying because I’d just finished mopping it. So yes, there was a challenge to stay calm. Z’s immediate reaction was “Oh dear... it’s all a mess”. Yes it is little kid, so I got him a cloth and I told him that when he makes a mess it needs clearing up.

Daddy helped so mummy could photograph the blessed event. Also, I didn’t fancy getting spag bol on my bright blue jeans. He’s in his pyjamas because he had an early nap and then woke up hungry. Maybe I should invent a challenge that is getting my son dressed before 1pm haha :D

We’ve spent the rest of the day dithering around and not getting up to much. Teaching stuff like:

When we take off our shoes we put them on the shoe rack

When we spill our drink we get all wet

Just the general day-to-day stuff that we don’t ever think about.

I think today has been good, I’ve communicated a lot with Z about different things and hopefully he’s learnt a few things. Just have to remember to keep these things up rather than let them go after 1 day.

How was your day #2? Any views on punishment?

Tomorrow & Friday = Challenge day #3 and #4 : Get down on their level

This is going to be good! I often catch myself chatting to the top of Z’s bird nest head rather than looking him in the eye when we talk.

Blog will be up Friday evening. Until then....

X x x x x

Day 1

Challenge : Be present for your child


Well, we've done it! It's nearly bath time & then he'll be in bed. First challenge is over.

I made effort to do LOTS today, because I knew if I was sitting around the house with Z the pressure to be "present" would overwhelm me. So we went out. I bought us both some new shoes, we had a nice lunch out with my mum & then we went to our friend's house for a playdate.

Every element of the day tested my patience. My (usually) easy going toddler had a complete meltdown in Clarks. So instead of relentlessly apologising to the customers/staff/people walking by, I took Z to the corner and we had a chat about why he was feeling sad. He can't really communicate THAT well yet, but I explained about buying new shoes, and let him choose a pair with planes on. He really cheered up and I felt so pleased with us both, I'd managed to keep my focus on Z & he managed to pull himself out of his breakdown to explain that he was hungry & wanted to choose his shoes.

Yay

I also thought I'd treat him to a brand new pop up tent and tunnel. Today was about being  present, not buying presents. So when we came home I spent an hour in his new tent while he filled it with all his favourite toys.

                                                         (No, he wouldn't stay still!!)

It's amazing the difference that staying off twitter has made to our day as well. Yes, it's only been 1 day and I'll be chomping at the bit to get on there later today and say hi to all my TwitFam. But the point is that making my focus 100% about Z and his needs made my day a lot easier because I wasn't juggling.

My biggest lesson is that I shouldn't worry about everyone around me. I didn't care what the staff at Clarks thought about my son having a minor breakdown. And it's something I'll definitely try and remember for the future. Keep calm and carry on (oh, maybe that phrase will make me some money....)

It'll be interesting to try this experiment again when Z has a better vocabulary.

How has you Day 1 been?

Tomorrow, challenge #2: Punish without anger

x x x x

Be A Better Parent Challenge

I've been inspired by a group of my favourite Attachment Parent mummy friends to take part in a 31 day challenge. We found it on a blog Motherhood Uncensored and some of us have decided to try it out.

I figure it shouldn't be too hard. I don't think I'm a perfect parent but I try my very best. And there's always room for improvement. It'll be an interesting experiment. I'll blog my progress as I go, rather than leave you all in a 31 day limbo while you wait with baited breath to read my results.

SO here we go....

Challenge #1: Being present for my child

I think I'm a present mum. I do use twitter (nearly 6000 times since my son was born so that's approx 300 tweets per month. 75 tweets per week. 11 tweets a day). So 11 times every single day I used twitter instead of focusing on my child. Realistically we cannot be there for our child every minute of the day, but tomorrow I'm going to try and concentrate 100% on what ever Z is up to. I'll be tuned in. I won't let my mind wander, think of other things and make mental lists. I'll be present.

Will let you know how it goes tomorrow. 

Counting to 10

I'm very proud. Today the toddler counted to 10.

It went like this.

Me "One"

Him "Two"

Me "Three"

Him "Floor"

Me "Five"

Him "Sits"

Me "Seven"

Him "Two"

Me "Eight"

Him "NYE TEN GO"

I'm not fussy that it wasn't exactly correct. When I was young I used the old "1 2 miss a few 99 100" until I was at least 11. And I still suck at maths. So this is quite an achievement for a 20 month old with my DNA.

This isn't much of a blog, I don't care, it's forever on the internet that I created a GENIUS.

*starts mensa application*

Yep. I'm one of those mothers.


x x x x